Pictures:

How is a head cold similar to a lot of traffic?

They're both congested.

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Why did Fred spend a lot of time looking around the horse stable?

His therapist said his life should be more stable eyes'd.

1099

What do you get when your optician is a comedian?

A man who makes a spectacle of himself.

1060

What is a cartoon of puppets on strings called?

Suspended animation.

1109

What kind of scientist studies bubbles?

A fizz-a-cist.

287

What is a party where everyone is treated equally.

A democratic party.

1851

What do we wear on our wrist that is similar to the people who guard a rock band?

The watchband.

2353

Why did Martha like circles?

Because it has the best all-around shape.

402

Gaucho Marx

2248

What do you say when you have trouble opening a jar of sesame paste?

Open sesame.

2642

What do you call someone who is an expert at choosing clocks for counter-tops?

Counter clock wise.

2358

Why didn't Bill like raquetball?

He thought it was off-the-wall.

132