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What happened to the lawyer who spent too much time drinking at the bar?

He was dis-barred.

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Why do electricians monitor the news so closely?

To keep current.

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Why did the homeowner get upset that he had to install this?

He just needed to vent.

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Who was the head baker to the junior baker?

Her roll model.

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What happened when someone bumped into Billy, causing him to drop his piggy bank into the river?

He was left cents-less.

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What happened when a jar of pickles spilled onto music sheets?

It made sour notes.

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When do parents feel that they aren't parenting enough?

When - in relation to their kids - they feel only 'parenthetical'.

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If the Allentown bank merged with Capital One bank, what would it be called?

Al Capone.

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What is a party called where everyone is treated equally?

A democratic party.

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What is the letter O called when it acts strange?

A weirdo.

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Where's a cheap option for finding certain wristwatch parts?

A second-hand store.

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What do you call ticks that live in a parrot's feathers?

Polly ticks.

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