Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
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How did the young lady feel when her date was rude?

She felt dis-missed.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the keyboard unhappy?

Because its keys were always depressed.

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Akiva Lane
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When you forget to take something on a vacation, what is that called?

A mis-take.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a good name for a store that sells sofas?

Sofa so good.

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Akiva Lane
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How is the metric system similar to a guy going on a date?

They both involve a 'meet her'.

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Akiva Lane
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When we feel blessed, why do we feel like singing?

Because the word blessing ends with the word sing.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the land called where an acting troupe builds a stage?

A play ground.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Alice call the hair she cut off because it was full of knots?

Forget me knots.

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Akiva Lane
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What was Maxwell Katz's nickname when he became King?

Reigning Katz.

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Shane Ronay
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What is the official nut of schools and educators?

mACADEMIA nuts

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Akiva Lane
General
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Why do shoes sneeze when they get hot?

They become hot-shoes!

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Akiva Lane
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What did the sweet potato with amnesia say?

I don't know who I yam.

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